I think she might be pregnant😢

I was fourteen and I wasn’t sure whether the girl I had “played” with was pregnant. I was boyishly handsome (I still am, by the way), I had your typical innocent playboy look but I was quite reserved and respectful and I was far from being a playboy. The girls sort of frightened me, the huge and tiny mounds on their chests scared and amused me at the same time but no matter how curious I was, I could never go near them (who could tell what would happen if I did?). 

My reserved and quiet nature covered up for a lot I didn’t know about, everyone just assumed I was this very cool guy that had a totally different and high class, and I let them flow with their delusions. I wore slippers to school and it was a “big boy thing” (my shoe had been damaged and it was the middle of the month so no money), my not having belt and tucking out my shirt was a form of quiet swags but I really enjoyed the rumors and the over estimation. Even the boys thought I was some sort of rich man’s kid so no one involved me in fights or quarrels. I was the only one (of course with my torn boxers) that knew I had no rich man’s class or substance; I was just brought up to be reserved.

There was usually no one to talk to at home; I was the first child and I was ten years older than my immediate younger and annoying sister, my parents were the late at night and very early in the morning kind of parents, all I had for company were books and my thoughts and imaginations. All these lasted till I turned fourteen and a gangster devil sent human being became my neighbor.

Dare was just two years older than me but his experiences were two decades older; he knew and had done things I could never think of doing, not even in my sleep. He basically destroyed and demystified the woman’s body; he didn’t just make me curious he made me super excited. He described the sacred mounds as two succulent pillows with a tickling arrow head; one that could grow hard and soft just by mere touch. He told me of the haven between their legs, a haven I would love to be buried in, one that draws you in until every bone in your body is weak with pleasure (Dare can describe ehn, I felt like I was inside the woman already). Within days of meeting this semi devil in human flesh I was too eager to experience the wonders of this specie of humans I had seen all my life but he was also quick to warn me to be careful so they would not get pregnant; he said that could be the beginning of the end of my life.    

The next time I was in school was not an educational day for me at all, it was an observational day. I kept watching all the girls in my class for who would be easy to approach, for would allow me experience the wonders of her body. I was lucky enough to get a little bit of coaching from Dare on how to approach them but I was not confident in my abilities to talk and persuade so I wrote a short and dumb love letter (thinking about it now I realize how really dumb it was; something about dying and breathing for her) to one girl I knew had always been crushing on me. Regardless of how dumb it was, it sha worked because after school the girl sent me a note to meet her at the back of the school farm. I didn’t really understand what was going to happen at the farm because Dare told me it would not be so easy to persuade them to show me the wonders he spoke about, he said they would like to play hard to get first (I really had no issue with hard to get because I had always been a patient person, so I was ready to play the game).

I met Tife at the school farm and the whole episode did not go as I expected in any way. I expected a shy conversation and some “I will think about it” game and some more “but you know I love you and I can die for you” crap, but none of that happened. Apparently fine girl Tife was very experienced and she needed no persuasion of any kind.

“You said you love me right?”   

“Yes Tife”

“And no matter what you would always love me?”

“Yes Tife”

“So you are my boyfriend now” I hesitated for a micro second and then remembered I had to show I was in charge.                                                                 

“Yes Tife”

“Do you want to touch me?” It was at that point I knew I had entered one chance. Touch what? I had not learnt up to that point, I could not even pretend to be in charge now because I didn’t know what to do. Somehow, I guess she knew that I knew nothing regardless of my big boy façade and she was already ready to teach me the ropes.

I was already processing how I would tell her my mother needed me at home immediately when I saw two round and swollen mounds of flesh directly facing me with my hand over the soft arrow head. Every other thing that happened became a blur, all I remembered afterwards was the sensation of feeling weak and life flowing out of me. On my way home and processing all that had happened, I concluded that the experience was not all Dare painted it to be, I just felt really good for less than a minute and afterwards I was feeling normal, just like nothing had happened.

It was on my bed later that night, I remembered what Dare had told me about pregnancy and I sat up immediately. I tried unsuccessfully to remember if I had released any liquid substance that might get Tife pregnant and I became very scared. What would happen now? Has the beginning of the end of my life started now? Would Tife tell anybody? Should I run away? Those were the thoughts racing through my mind as I sat that night on my bed with rivulets of sweat streaming down my boyish handsome face.

In the end I decided I would not talk to her again. I avoided her throughout the next day and the days to come but I kept observing her everyday to see if her stomach had increased in size, to know if there was a little baby somewhere. I really didn’t know how small a baby used to be in a woman’s stomach but if it comes out from the body like solid waste then it must really be small and that means any small swelling could be a baby. I watched Tife everyday in the weeks after till I got transferred to another school and even after then whenever I see her in the neighborhood, I couldn’t resist checking her stomach for any increase.          

I am twenty six now and I still smile every time I remember that silly episode because it was my first pregnancy scare and I can’t even imagine that I was checking her stomach the next day for increase in the size of her stomach (don’t worry I am wiser now, still very reserved and quiet and definitely not a playboy although I am still irresistibly boyishly handsome).     
P.s.. The actual experience of a wonderful friend, I just couldn’t resist writing in my own words. I hope you enjoyed it😄😄😘    

Through my eyes and through my mind (TEAM)

​Everyone sees, hears,imagines and thinks of a lot of stuffs everyday; myself included. However, I realized that most times I just tell someone or keep it to myself, I don’t really ever think of writing and describing in my words.

So I decided to start a series where I would be writing these stuffs I see, hear, imagine or that bothers me, in a fictional sense and that’s the idea behind through my eyes and through my mind.

It would mostly be short stories and sometimes maybe poetry. I would like to know what you guys think on the writings so please do well to follow and share with friends who just want a good gist or story or an off the rules and sincere fiction.
I would equally be posting excerpts and some other stuffs on my Social media accounts, you could also check things already posted. IG @tolarnee Facebook: Onashile Peace

My friend, my love, my friend

Maybe it would be tonight
The night I would finally get the courage to do what everyone seems to term a taboo. I do not care what anyone calls it, I just know the creator gave me a mouth for a reason. And don’t forget the cute lips too.

Maybe tonight is the night I would free my heart from its misery and get to stop playing stupid games because I do not want to appear cheap.

I do not care if he doesn’t talk to me again or if he gives me a distance wider than what I give cooking meals, I would just be glad that the burden is no longer on my tiny shoulders.

I am in love with my best friend. Offense number one. I am going to tell him. Offense number two plus I have no class its so cheap to tell a guy FIRST that you love him. Blah blah blah….My life, my heart, my mouth, my dignity, I can’t seem to see how any of those would be anyone’s headache.

I looked at my very curvy self in the mirror and assured myself that he would be dumb not to see me as more than a friend tonight. I was practically walking on the moon imagining how romantic our story would be; he was my best friend and now he is my husband. Oh my wedding gown and the royal frills, I was grinning stupidly.

I saw him sitting at our spot and I purposely took slow and seductive steps till I got to where he was sitting looking innocently handsome. I loved the impression I was making.

“Are you going to meet someone tonight?”

“Well yes and I am meeting the person already”

“You really look smashing”

“Thanks dearie, so what’s up?”

” My girlfriend said I need to stop seeing you”

“I thought you guys broke up”

“We got back together today”
            @tolarnee