INSECURE III

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“No Kelvin!! I don’t want any of this and you know it”
“Really Dunni? You don’t? How can you deny me this one thing I want to give you, this beautiful pleasure Dunni?”
“Its not like that, I am just not ready for it and I have told you and you said you understood it, that you would never ask me so why are you doing this  now?”
“Then just go!!!! I am tired of having to pick up your little fragile self always. I have never asked you for anything and I am asking you for just this one thing and you are saying no, then leave!!!!”
I couldn’t believe my eyes or ears, Kelvin had never even shouted at me but now he was screaming, like I had done something wrong that he was angry about but I couldn’t think of anyway I might have offended him. He knew, he knew I could not leave, he knew I was depending on him for the actual pumping of my heart, yet he turned against me. I didn’t know when the tears started rolling down my eyes and I started sobbing like a new widow.
He stopped screaming when he saw me in tears, he wrapped his arms around me and I felt so overwhelmed by his presence, his strength, his person, I couldn’t imagine him leaving me. He was the only one that had ever loved me and I am not about to lose his love.
He pulled me away to look deep into my eyes, the intensity of his gaze was intimidating, I felt all my resolve crumbling and when he asked me again I couldn’t help but nod vigorously like a corrected child.
Kelvin knew the art of lovemaking from his soul and he taught me everything I needed to know to satisfy him. At first it was beautiful and exquisite, exploring this beautiful new art but then several things were changing and they were changing radically.
Kelvin screams at me to leave at the slightest provocation, including when he doesn’t get his food that has become my daily duty, on time. He complains about everything, I can’t remember the last time he called me beautiful, or intelligent or anything nice for that matter. I was practically walking on eggshells around him. The only time he acts nice to me, are the few minutes between my legs; I usually live for those moments, those moments when I can see the breath I fell in love with, those moments I become the only thing he lives for.
Kelvin was not done breaking me, he started making me beg to make love to me and I did so shamelessly until I started seeing panties that were not mine, and green coloured long hair strands and smelling perfumes Kelvin’s dead body would never use; too feminine.
I was too afraid to say anything about it.
Then today happened.

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